I want you to think of your personality type as your strength.
If you're a ESTP, some of your strengths as a senser (S) is being able to stay in the moment, remember details that other don't and short term planning.
If you're a INFP, some of your strengths as a feeler (F) is being intune with others feelings and emotions (sometimes even before they have words for it!) and foreseeing how decisions affect your teams and those around you.
Here are some important things you need to know about different personalities under stress in order to avoid fighting over the wrong problem or turning things ugly:
1- When we're kinda stressed, we do more of our strengths.
If you're in the yellow zone stress:"kinda stressed - but I can still do this!", we start zoning in on our strengths and doing more of it. So if you're a natural sensor (S) you'll be focusing on the details and short term plans even more and because of that you over look the long term plans.
This is your stress signal.
2- When we go over our stress tolerance level, we do the opposite of our strengths.
When the stress goes over our threshold-"OMG, I JUST SNAPPED!", we break out of character and suddenly act the opposite of how we normally would. Almost as if we don't have access to our strengths anymore. So if you're a sensor, you suddenly can't do short term planning and are stuck in a scary vision of the future.
3- This creates conflicts and I tell you why
Under stress we each zone in on what we are naturally good at and this creates conflicts
because we're suddenly stuck in the zone we're comfortable and unable to go into different thinking patterns. The sender type is stuck in short term planning and can't seem to get in touch with the future vision while someone else with a personality type that has a strong long term planning skill is stuck in the future and overlooks the details. And suddenly we are all peaking different languages and unable to meet each other in the middle.
4- Not being aware of this turns conflicts personal and ugly.
When in reality, it's not personal. It's just a different personalities and needs.
It's NOT about "me" and it's not about "you".
Being aware of this, I suddenly know that under stress, I need you to meet me where I'm at and you need me to meet you where you're at. Now, I have a way to communicate with you.
When we learn what the other person's needs are based on their personality types and we learn how to speak their language, we increas our ability to influence, impact and create trust and harmony.
Bonus tip:
5- How not to snap
Under stress go back to the core of the issue.
Here are a couple questions to ask yourself, a stressed loved one or even a team member that's feeling the heat to help get to the bottom of the issue and the underlying needs before someone snap:
"What's most important to you right now?"
"What's true for you right now?"
Want more?
Get instant access to a fantastic (and free) video training you'll learn simple strategies that'll give you the information and confidence to create better relationships-YES, even when stressed!
I also offer training for teams and/or sales groups on how to talk to people based on their needs and sell things using the buy-in language of each personality type.
If your a leader and you're tired of thing at the work place getting ugly and personal or you have a sales team and want to raise their level of performance, drop me an email for a complementary access code to some of the tools I use.
Here's to a life where we can turn stress into lemonade,
Noorah
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